Aaron Ackerson

Outside on the Inside, lyrics:

SHC

The Sexiest Man on Earth, lyrics:

Theme from The Sexiest Man on Earth
The Artichoke Song
Keep God out of Canada
Allusion to an Illusion of an Allusion
This House is Haunted
Not The End
Melodrama
Love Fix
The Material World
Ten Pounds of Love
Not The End (part II)

Other lyrics:

The Artichoke Song (Japanese Translation)

SHC

Set alight
In the night sky,
burning bright

When he enters, he's sure to be
everyone's topic of conversation
If he listens, he's sure to hear
everyone's low expectations

Set alight
In the night sky,
burning bright

When he's present, he's sure to be
the source of everybody's tension
And if he joins in, he's going to be
everyone's object of condescension

Set alight
In the night sky,
burning bright

Today like every other, he will be faced
with all the same old baseless assumptions
One of these days, he's sure to become
a victim of spontaneous combustion

They will say he should have stayed at home

Theme from The Sexiest Man on Earth
Featuring Corinne Lysaught

There lives an embodiment of manliness too beautiful to describe
This demigod walks among us. Believe it or not, it ain't no jive
His good looks are the greatest thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread
But just 'cause he's God's gift to women doesn't mean it's gone to his head

The fellas are jealous 'cause the ladies he pleases
Kicking rightious ass like a Kung-Fu Jesus
He's the most appealing person to whom has ever been given birth
Aaron Ackerson is the Sexiest Man on Earth

His hot body is quite possibly the eighth wonder of the world
That is, at least according to his long waiting list of girls
He's got alluring, mysterious eyes and that bad-boy appeal
When it comes to heart-throb idols, this stud is the real deal

He's like a train to Pleasure City that's boarding on Track 3
Making good love like a walking sex factory
He may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but for what it's worth
Aaron Ackerson is the Sexiest Man on Earth

Bridge:
I was trained by Shaolin monks in the deadly art of Sexy
So check me out while some rhymes I flex
See, It's like I'm droppin' bombs when my lyrics are flowin'
Like Miss Mia Park, I get the Chics-A-Go-Goin'
If being sexy was considered a crime
I'd get life in prison without parol because
I'm the Canadian pope. I don't do dope
I once got busy with a soap on a rope

The most appealing person to whom has ever been given birth
Aaron Ackerson is the Sexiest Man on Earth
(Ore wa Aaron-sama)
(Zetsurin Pawaa ga aru no sa)

The Artichoke Song

They call me Spacecat, 'cause I'm rockin' your face, cat
and you'll never detect a trace of my m4d l33t skIlLz
or the Buffalo Bills playing drum fills automatically

And if you challenge me, I'll fly into a Blind Canadian Rage
and destroy ya like my name was Latoya Jackson of the militant faction
When I get on the Mic, there's a chain reaction

Chorus:
This ain't no joke
We're comin' baroque
like an artichoke
filled with Cherry Coke

Hey bloke, you got alot of nerve, servin' me hors d'oeuvres
e-mailing me from Compuserv
The cycloid is a special curve and I like to eat strawberry preserves

I'm like Sex on Wheels when I close the deal
I got more rhymes than the Navy's got Seals
All the girls squeal when they hear me rockin' with three independant lines interlockin'

Chorus

Bridge:
When I say "frozen," you say "dinner"
Frozen (dinner), frozen (dinner)
When I say "Walter," you say "Skinner"
Walter (Skinner), Walter (Skinner)
When I say "out-," you say "rigger"
Out-(rigger), out-(rigger)
When I say "Chrono," you say "Trigger"
Chrono (Trigger), Chrono (Trigger)

Chorus
(We Like to Rock)
(Like J.S. Bach)
(Straight Outta Iraq)
(Like Mr. Spock)

Keep God out of Canada

Come people and gather 'round, and hear what I have to say
We've got to do whatever it takes to keep the Almighty at bay
We'll seal off the border, we'll carry laser guns
We're gonna protect our country, we're gonna have a lot of fun, we're gonna...

Chorus:
Keep God out of Canada
Keep God out of Canada
Keep God out of Canada
Keep God out of Canada

We captured a guy last week who we thought was God in disguise
But it turned out to be my sister, playing tricks on our eyes
Well you might say we look foolish, you might say we look insane
But when you're trying to keep your nation secure, you're bound to make a few mistakes, you've gotta...

Chorus

Bridge:
Keep God out of leap year, keep God out of trampolines
Keep God out of TV diners, keep God out of DVD
Keep God out of trilobites, keep God out of monster trucks
Keep God out of sale prices, keep God out of Starbucks

Chorus

Allusion to an Illusion of an Allusion

Contrary to what I'd like to believe
I don't really wear my heart on my sleeve

This House is Haunted

I was glad to be done unpacking
I had just finished moving in
But before I could relax
I felt a chill go through my skin
Before me appeared a spector
translucent and wearing chains
He said, "This is where I lived years ago
and this is where I shall remain."

When I bought this house, I was feelin' happy
But now I'm hearing voices and it's really crappy
I bought this place from a guy named Gary
I wish he would have told me how it's really scary
This House is Haunted and I want my money back

I invited my girl over
for a chicken dinner by candle light
I prepared for it all day
to make sure everything went right
But when we sat down to eat
and I was about to start romancin'
the bird got up off the plate
and started dancin'

Then my girl ran off and I haven't seen her since
I'm sick of this spirit's stupid tricks
I wish I could make him go away
but until I move, he is here to stay
This House is Haunted and I want my money back

Now I have trouble sleeping at night
and my social life is dead
not unlike the poltergeist
who's been screwing with my head
I blame it all
on the guy who sold me this place
After I paid him in cash
he just laughed and drove away

At the time, he seemed like a real nice guy
His price was low and now I know why
I liked the location. It was close to Starbucks
Now I see dead people and it really sucks
This House is Haunted and I want my money back
This House is Haunted and I want my money back

Not The End

According to you, we were always just friends
but what about the time that we held hands?
It was that one time back in November
Bet you didn't think that I would remember
Bet you didn't think that I would be able to see through your disguise
I know how you really feel. Don't try to tell me otherwise
The Jury will plainly see that the defendant has a poor grasp of the facts
you should just go ahead and accept the truth
Then both of us can relax

Chorus:
I'll beat you on a technicality
I'll find a loophole that'll make you see
what you really want, and that would be me
This is not the end, you really wanna be my girlfriend

And there was that time when I wanted to know
if you'd like to go out and see a show
In my question, I used the word, "date"
Your reply was, "That would be great!"
Your reply was an implied acknowledgement that our love was true
You can't go back and change that
there's nothing you can do
Your defense is completely full of holes, your every argument will be trumped
Now we can live our lives together happily
Aren't you glad I got this all cleared up?

Chorus

Melodrama

Thinkin' about the things I miss
Never thought I'd see days like this
Everything is cold to the touch
Waitin' for an angel to be my crutch

I can't bear to go with the flow
My self esteem is at an all-time low
Feelings are hurt and I'm to blame
Now things can never be the same

I had dreams and I had plans
they fell apart right in my hands
I went ahead but the door was locked
Tried to go back, but the path was blocked
This has gone on for far too long
It'd be easier if I was strong

What the hell is wrong with me?
Why can't these demons just let me be?

I want to be a good friend to you
The harder I try, the worse I do

Love Fix
Featuring Julia Cretens

You cannot stop yourself
This is bad for your health

The rush you feel in your head will make you come back
again and again and again
Every time you feel like you've arrived
in a warm place where you can stay
but you know you'll be colder than ever soon enough
soon enough

With summer on your thumb
you're the one with the hot pencil lead
Sick in bed, dead to the world
You're like a squirrel
whose phone is chilled to the bone
I can't tell you what to do with yourself
Sittin' on the shelf, staring at gloves is swell
like a hot Love Fix
Going to Hell in a bread basket
your casket squeals with mass appeal
Like an SAF, it is real

All the while he was happy but blind
Then his dreams were shattered by the "never mind"
"never mind," "never mind"

Someday, I'll leave it all behind
Someday, I'll once again be open wide
Someday, I won't mind these scars
Someday, I'll know who you are
Someday, we will get it right
Someday, together we'll take flight
We will take flight

You and I will make each other complete
These urges will no longer be obsolete

The Material World
Featuring Corinne Lysaught

I hoped it was the end of our pain
I hoped I would see you again
in The Material World
In The Material World
In The Material World

Ten Pounds of Love
Featuring Julia Cretens

She likes to wake up in the street
Her favorite kind of chips is Honey Barbeque Mesquite
You are the star of a TV show
And every time you see her, you would like to be her, 'cause everybody knows that...

Chorus:
like DSL, she's a gift from above
comin' straight down to you
complete with Ten Pounds of Love

I know that Everything Is Wrong
But then it's alright every time she sings that song
She fears the tolling of the bell
'cause a woodland sprite is gonna get uptight and send her straight to hell, 'cause...

Chorus

Not The End (part II)
Featuring Cex

Change in your brain like a total eclipse
Uri Michelle Gellar, tell her, white and totally sick
Bend spines like spoons, like minds and shit
What's mine is mine, rind, skin, and pit
(Ben Stein likes spoons)
(Rod Stewart hit)

I'll beat you on a technicality
I'll find a loophole that'll make you see
what you really want, and that would be me
This is not the end, you really wanna be my girlfriend

Break you down
You will get married now
You must date
Mr. Aaron

Is nothing sacred?
Hey, I'm fucking tired and it's raining
Yeah, Welcome to the Jungle, baby
We're gonna die
You wanna do that song again? (Yeah)
Good idea
Aww... Yeah! Woo!
Woo-hoo!

The Artichoke Song
　（アーティチョークのうた）

They call me Spacecat, 'cause I'm rockin' your face, cat
（ボクのことをスペースキャットという、お前の顔をロックしてるから）

and you'll never detect a trace of my m4d l33t skIlLz
or the Buffalo Bills playing drum fills automatically
（そして、きみはぜんぜん俺のマッドリートな技をみつけることができないんだ。しぜんにドラムをひいてるバファロビルズもみつけることができないんだ。）

And if you challenge me, I'll fly into a Blind Canadian Rage
and destroy ya like my name was Latoya Jackson of the militant faction
（もしも、俺に挑戦したら突然に俺はカナダの激怒になった、戦闘しゅうだんのラトヤジャクソンさんのようにお前を破壊してやる。）

When I get on the Mic, there's a chain reaction
（マイクで歌ったら、連鎖反応があるぜ。）

Chorus:
This ain't no joke
（冗談じゃねーよ）
We're comin' baroque
（バロックのようにやるぜ！）
like an artichoke
filled with Cherry Coke
（チェリーコックがはいってるアーティチョークのように）

Hey bloke, you got alot of nerve, servin' me hors d'oeuvres
e-mailing me from Compuserv
（いいかげんにしろ！俺にオードヴルをくれるのもコンピューサーブで俺にメールするのもだめ）

The cycloid is a special curve and I like to eat strawberry preserves
（サイクロイドは特別の曲線、ぼくはいちごジャムをたべるのがすきさ）

I'm like Sex on Wheels when I close the deal
（すましたら、「輪のうえにあるセクス」のようなのさ）

I got more rhymes than the Navy's got SEALs.
（アメリカの海軍にいるシールよりもっとおおくのライムがある）

All the girls squeal when they hear me rockin' with three independant lines interlockin'
俺が独立たミフのメロディーでロックするのがきこえたら、女の子達はキャーキャーいう。

Chorus

Bridge:
When I say "frozen," you say "dinner"
Frozen (dinner), frozen (dinner)
（ぼくが「フロゼン」をいったら、きみ達は「ディナー」とフロゼン！ディナー！フロゼン！ディナー！）

When I say "Walter," you say "Skinner"
Walter (Skinner), Walter (Skinner)
（ぼくが「ウオルター」をいったら、きみ達は「スキナー」と「ウオルター！スキナー！「ウオルター！スキナー！）

When I say "out-," you say "rigger"
Out-(rigger), out-(rigger)
（ぼくが「アウト」をいったら、きみ達は「リガー」とアウト！リガー！アウト！リガー！）

When I say "Chrono," you say "Trigger"
Chrono (Trigger), Chrono (Trigger)
（ぼくが「クロノ」をいったら、きみ達は「トリガー」とクロノ！トリガー！クロノ！トリガー！）

Chorus
(We Like to Rock)
（ロックするのがすき）

(Like J.S. Bach)
（ヨーハンセバスティアンバハのように）

(Straight Outta Iraq)
（イラクからまっすぐに）

(Like Mr. Spock)
（スポックさんのように）

Translated by Aaron Ackerson, with lots of help from Tomoko Amimoto. Please e-mail me with any corrections you might have.






Outside on the Inside, lyrics: SHC The Sexiest Man on Earth, lyrics: Theme from The Sexiest Man on Earth The Artichoke Song Keep God out of Canada Allusion to an Illusion of an Allusion This House is Haunted Not The End Melodrama Love Fix The Material World Ten Pounds of Love Not The End (part II) Other lyrics: The Artichoke Song (Japanese Translation) SHC Set alight In the night sky, burning bright When he enters, he's sure to be everyone's topic of conversation If he listens, he's sure to hear everyone's low expectations Set alight In the night sky, burning bright When he's present, he's sure to be the source of everybody's tension And if he joins in, he's going to be everyone's object of condescension Set alight In the night sky, burning bright Today like every other, he will be faced with all the same old baseless assumptions One of these days, he's sure to become a victim of spontaneous combustion They will say he should have stayed at home Theme from The Sexiest Man on Earth Featuring Corinne Lysaught There lives an embodiment of manliness too beautiful to describe This demigod walks among us. Believe it or not, it ain't no jive His good looks are the greatest thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread But just 'cause he's God's gift to women doesn't mean it's gone to his head The fellas are jealous 'cause the ladies he pleases Kicking rightious ass like a Kung-Fu Jesus He's the most appealing person to whom has ever been given birth Aaron Ackerson is the Sexiest Man on Earth His hot body is quite possibly the eighth wonder of the world That is, at least according to his long waiting list of girls He's got alluring, mysterious eyes and that bad-boy appeal When it comes to heart-throb idols, this stud is the real deal He's like a train to Pleasure City that's boarding on Track 3 Making good love like a walking sex factory He may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but for what it's worth Aaron Ackerson is the Sexiest Man on Earth Bridge: I was trained by Shaolin monks in the deadly art of Sexy So check me out while some rhymes I flex See, It's like I'm droppin' bombs when my lyrics are flowin' Like Miss Mia Park, I get the Chics-A-Go-Goin' If being sexy was considered a crime I'd get life in prison without parol because I'm the Canadian pope. I don't do dope I once got busy with a soap on a rope The most appealing person to whom has ever been given birth Aaron Ackerson is the Sexiest Man on Earth (Ore wa Aaron-sama) (Zetsurin Pawaa ga aru no sa) The Artichoke Song They call me Spacecat, 'cause I'm rockin' your face, cat and you'll never detect a trace of my m4d l33t skIlLz or the Buffalo Bills playing drum fills automatically And if you challenge me, I'll fly into a Blind Canadian Rage and destroy ya like my name was Latoya Jackson of the militant faction When I get on the Mic, there's a chain reaction Chorus: This ain't no joke We're comin' baroque like an artichoke filled with Cherry Coke Hey bloke, you got alot of nerve, servin' me hors d'oeuvres e-mailing me from Compuserv The cycloid is a special curve and I like to eat strawberry preserves I'm like Sex on Wheels when I close the deal I got more rhymes than the Navy's got Seals All the girls squeal when they hear me rockin' with three independant lines interlockin' Chorus Bridge: When I say "frozen," you say "dinner" Frozen (dinner), frozen (dinner) When I say "Walter," you say "Skinner" Walter (Skinner), Walter (Skinner) When I say "out-," you say "rigger" Out-(rigger), out-(rigger) When I say "Chrono," you say "Trigger" Chrono (Trigger), Chrono (Trigger) Chorus (We Like to Rock) (Like J.S. Bach) (Straight Outta Iraq) (Like Mr. Spock) Keep God out of Canada Come people and gather 'round, and hear what I have to say We've got to do whatever it takes to keep the Almighty at bay We'll seal off the border, we'll carry laser guns We're gonna protect our country, we're gonna have a lot of fun, we're gonna... Chorus: Keep God out of Canada Keep God out of Canada Keep God out of Canada Keep God out of Canada We captured a guy last week who we thought was God in disguise But it turned out to be my sister, playing tricks on our eyes Well you might say we look foolish, you might say we look insane But when you're trying to keep your nation secure, you're bound to make a few mistakes, you've gotta... Chorus Bridge: Keep God out of leap year, keep God out of trampolines Keep God out of TV diners, keep God out of DVD Keep God out of trilobites, keep God out of monster trucks Keep God out of sale prices, keep God out of Starbucks Chorus Allusion to an Illusion of an Allusion Contrary to what I'd like to believe I don't really wear my heart on my sleeve This House is Haunted I was glad to be done unpacking I had just finished moving in But before I could relax I felt a chill go through my skin Before me appeared a spector translucent and wearing chains He said, "This is where I lived years ago and this is where I shall remain." When I bought this house, I was feelin' happy But now I'm hearing voices and it's really crappy I bought this place from a guy named Gary I wish he would have told me how it's really scary This House is Haunted and I want my money back I invited my girl over for a chicken dinner by candle light I prepared for it all day to make sure everything went right But when we sat down to eat and I was about to start romancin' the bird got up off the plate and started dancin' Then my girl ran off and I haven't seen her since I'm sick of this spirit's stupid tricks I wish I could make him go away but until I move, he is here to stay This House is Haunted and I want my money back Now I have trouble sleeping at night and my social life is dead not unlike the poltergeist who's been screwing with my head I blame it all on the guy who sold me this place After I paid him in cash he just laughed and drove away At the time, he seemed like a real nice guy His price was low and now I know why I liked the location. It was close to Starbucks Now I see dead people and it really sucks This House is Haunted and I want my money back This House is Haunted and I want my money back Not The End According to you, we were always just friends but what about the time that we held hands? It was that one time back in November Bet you didn't think that I would remember Bet you didn't think that I would be able to see through your disguise I know how you really feel. Don't try to tell me otherwise The Jury will plainly see that the defendant has a poor grasp of the facts you should just go ahead and accept the truth Then both of us can relax Chorus: I'll beat you on a technicality I'll find a loophole that'll make you see what you really want, and that would be me This is not the end, you really wanna be my girlfriend And there was that time when I wanted to know if you'd like to go out and see a show In my question, I used the word, "date" Your reply was, "That would be great!" Your reply was an implied acknowledgement that our love was true You can't go back and change that there's nothing you can do Your defense is completely full of holes, your every argument will be trumped Now we can live our lives together happily Aren't you glad I got this all cleared up? Chorus Melodrama Thinkin' about the things I miss Never thought I'd see days like this Everything is cold to the touch Waitin' for an angel to be my crutch I can't bear to go with the flow My self esteem is at an all-time low Feelings are hurt and I'm to blame Now things can never be the same I had dreams and I had plans they fell apart right in my hands I went ahead but the door was locked Tried to go back, but the path was blocked This has gone on for far too long It'd be easier if I was strong What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't these demons just let me be? I want to be a good friend to you The harder I try, the worse I do Love Fix Featuring Julia Cretens You cannot stop yourself This is bad for your health The rush you feel in your head will make you come back again and again and again Every time you feel like you've arrived in a warm place where you can stay but you know you'll be colder than ever soon enough soon enough With summer on your thumb you're the one with the hot pencil lead Sick in bed, dead to the world You're like a squirrel whose phone is chilled to the bone I can't tell you what to do with yourself Sittin' on the shelf, staring at gloves is swell like a hot Love Fix Going to Hell in a bread basket your casket squeals with mass appeal Like an SAF, it is real All the while he was happy but blind Then his dreams were shattered by the "never mind" "never mind," "never mind" Someday, I'll leave it all behind Someday, I'll once again be open wide Someday, I won't mind these scars Someday, I'll know who you are Someday, we will get it right Someday, together we'll take flight We will take flight You and I will make each other complete These urges will no longer be obsolete The Material World Featuring Corinne Lysaught I hoped it was the end of our pain I hoped I would see you again in The Material World In The Material World In The Material World Ten Pounds of Love Featuring Julia Cretens She likes to wake up in the street Her favorite kind of chips is Honey Barbeque Mesquite You are the star of a TV show And every time you see her, you would like to be her, 'cause everybody knows that... Chorus: like DSL, she's a gift from above comin' straight down to you complete with Ten Pounds of Love I know that Everything Is Wrong But then it's alright every time she sings that song She fears the tolling of the bell 'cause a woodland sprite is gonna get uptight and send her straight to hell, 'cause... Chorus Not The End (part II) Featuring Cex Change in your brain like a total eclipse Uri Michelle Gellar, tell her, white and totally sick Bend spines like spoons, like minds and shit What's mine is mine, rind, skin, and pit (Ben Stein likes spoons) (Rod Stewart hit) I'll beat you on a technicality I'll find a loophole that'll make you see what you really want, and that would be me This is not the end, you really wanna be my girlfriend Break you down You will get married now You must date Mr. Aaron Is nothing sacred? Hey, I'm fucking tired and it's raining Yeah, Welcome to the Jungle, baby We're gonna die You wanna do that song again? (Yeah) Good idea Aww... Yeah! Woo! Woo-hoo! The Artichoke Song 　（アーティチョークのうた） They call me Spacecat, 'cause I'm rockin' your face, cat （ボクのことをスペースキャットという、お前の顔をロックしてるから） and you'll never detect a trace of my m4d l33t skIlLz or the Buffalo Bills playing drum fills automatically （そして、きみはぜんぜん俺のマッドリートな技をみつけることができないんだ。しぜんにドラムをひいてるバファロビルズもみつけることができないんだ。） And if you challenge me, I'll fly into a Blind Canadian Rage and destroy ya like my name was Latoya Jackson of the militant faction （もしも、俺に挑戦したら突然に俺はカナダの激怒になった、戦闘しゅうだんのラトヤジャクソンさんのようにお前を破壊してやる。） When I get on the Mic, there's a chain reaction （マイクで歌ったら、連鎖反応があるぜ。） Chorus: This ain't no joke （冗談じゃねーよ） We're comin' baroque （バロックのようにやるぜ！） like an artichoke filled with Cherry Coke （チェリーコックがはいってるアーティチョークのように） Hey bloke, you got alot of nerve, servin' me hors d'oeuvres e-mailing me from Compuserv （いいかげんにしろ！俺にオードヴルをくれるのもコンピューサーブで俺にメールするのもだめ） The cycloid is a special curve and I like to eat strawberry preserves （サイクロイドは特別の曲線、ぼくはいちごジャムをたべるのがすきさ） I'm like Sex on Wheels when I close the deal （すましたら、「輪のうえにあるセクス」のようなのさ） I got more rhymes than the Navy's got SEALs. （アメリカの海軍にいるシールよりもっとおおくのライムがある） All the girls squeal when they hear me rockin' with three independant lines interlockin' 俺が独立たミフのメロディーでロックするのがきこえたら、女の子達はキャーキャーいう。 Chorus Bridge: When I say "frozen," you say "dinner" Frozen (dinner), frozen (dinner) （ぼくが「フロゼン」をいったら、きみ達は「ディナー」とフロゼン！ディナー！フロゼン！ディナー！） When I say "Walter," you say "Skinner" Walter (Skinner), Walter (Skinner) （ぼくが「ウオルター」をいったら、きみ達は「スキナー」と「ウオルター！スキナー！「ウオルター！スキナー！） When I say "out-," you say "rigger" Out-(rigger), out-(rigger) （ぼくが「アウト」をいったら、きみ達は「リガー」とアウト！リガー！アウト！リガー！） When I say "Chrono," you say "Trigger" Chrono (Trigger), Chrono (Trigger) （ぼくが「クロノ」をいったら、きみ達は「トリガー」とクロノ！トリガー！クロノ！トリガー！） Chorus (We Like to Rock) （ロックするのがすき） (Like J.S. Bach) （ヨーハンセバスティアンバハのように） (Straight Outta Iraq) （イラクからまっすぐに） (Like Mr. Spock) （スポックさんのように） Translated by Aaron Ackerson, with lots of help from Tomoko Amimoto. Please e-mail me with any corrections you might have.

© 2004 Aaron Ackerson All Rights Reserved